Respect Training For Puppies and Adult Dogs
By Michele Welton. Copyright © 2000-2010
Meet Kathy Armstrong and Jake...
I often get phone calls from distressed owners who are having trouble with their dog. Let's listen in on a phone conversation between myself and a typical dog owner, Kathy Armstrong.
Kathy: "Michele, my dog Jake is being difficult. I can't make him do anything. He only listens to me when he's in the mood."
Me: "I see. Would you say Jake is behaving rudely?"
Kathy (surprised): "What do you mean? How can a dog be rude?"
Ah, how indeed! Let us count the ways!
Talking back
Me: "Does Jake sass you back when you tell him to do something? Does he bark back at you?"
Kathy: "Well, yes, if he doesn't want to do something."
Hanging onto objects
Me: "Does he brace his legs and refuse to let go when you try to take something away from him?"
Kathy: "Yes, if it's something he wants to keep for himself."
Staying just out of your reach
Me: "When you reach your hand toward him, does he dart away from you, keeping just out of reach?"
Kathy: "Well, yes, if he doesn't want to be caught."
Pestering you
Me: "Does he persistently nudge or pester you for attention when you're trying to read the newspaper, or when you talk on the phone or visit with guests?"
Kathy: "Yes, when I'm not paying attention to him."
Grumbling when annoyed
Me: "Does he ever grumble at you when you wake him up? Or when you try to move him off his favorite chair? Or when you reach toward his food bowl while he's eating? Or when you touch some "sensitive" part of his body, like his tail or stomach or paw?"
Kathy: "Yes, he does growl sometimes -- he's telling me not to bother him."
Stealing food
Me: "Does he steal food off your plate when you leave it unattended? Does he get into the trash?"
Kathy:: "Um..."
Struggling during grooming
Me: "Does he fuss when you try to open his mouth to look at his teeth? How about cleaning his ears? Or clipping his toenails?"
Kathy: "True. He doesn't like me to do those things."
Running away from you
Me: "When you catch him doing something wrong, does he run from you? Does he lead you on a merry chase around the house or yard?"
Kathy:: "Uh-huh. So he can't be scolded."
"Getting back at you"
Me: "When he doesn't get his own way or when he's upset with you, does he chew things or pee somewhere in the house?"
Kathy: "Yup! I think he does that to get back at me."
"Telling off" guests
Me: "Does Jake decide who's welcome in your home and who isn't? Does he bark or grumble at visitors even after you've let them in?"
Kathy: "Well, if he's excited... or if he doesn't like them..."
Jumping on people
Me: "Ah, and if he does like them, is he calm and polite? Or does he jump all over them?"
Silence. Then... "I'm beginning to see your point."
Me: "And you said he only obeys when he's "in the mood."
Kathy (sighing): "You're right, Michele. Jake does do quite a few of those things. But are they really that bad?"
Why rude behaviors are bad
Me: "I'm afraid so. Those behaviors are rude and disrespectful. If a dog is allowed to do things that are rude and disrespectful, he starts believing that he is higher in the pack order than YOU are."
Kathy (puzzled): "And the pack order is...?"
Me: "You might call it a pecking order. It's like a ladder. A ladder of hierarchy. Dogs are sociable animals who like to live with other sociable animals in a group or pack, and all packs have a pecking order.
At the top is the most dominant animal, the Pack Leader. He (or she) establishes the rules and makes the decisions for the group.
Next in line is the Number Two animal, who can tell everyone else (except for the Pack Leader) what to do. Then the Number Three animal, and so on, right down to the most submissive one of all, who can't tell anybody else what to do.
Now YOU might think this kind of structure sounds harsh, but pack animals love it! They know instinctively that the well-being of the group depends upon each member being able to handle his or her respective position. With a pecking order, they know exactly where they stand with each other. They know "Who is Who" within the pack.
The pack instinct is built into your dog's genes, and it's a good thing, too, because it's why dogs wedge themselves so tightly into our families, rather than prowling along the fringes, like many cats do.
Cats tend to be more solitary animals who like to do their own thing. Dogs are pack animals who like to belong. That one instinct makes a tremendous difference in the way each pet should be raised.
When a dog joins your family, even if your family consists only of a single person -- YOU -- a pack is formed.
Oh, yes, in his mind it certainly is, and his instincts compel him to seek out its structure: Who is the leader, and who is the follower?
Whoever is allowed to set the rules
and make the decisions
is the leader.
The other one is the follower.
If you don't establish YOURSELF as the leader, your dog will be compelled by his instincts to assume that role. And now you will see those "rude and disrespectful" behaviors. Your dog isn't really being rude or disrespectful. He is simply carrying out his role as pack leader. Since you haven't assumed the role, HE has to do it."
Kathy (anxiously): "But I don't want to rule or control my dog. I just want him to be my friend."
Me: "Kathy, Jake can never be just your friend, because friends are equals. Jake is your dependent. He depends on you for his food, his health, his safety, his very life. There are times when you need to do things with Jake that he doesn't understand and doesn't like. You might need to:
- give medicine that tastes awful
- take something dangerous out of his mouth
- roll him onto his back and remove a tick from his belly
Jake may be smart, but he doesn't understand that medicines will help him, that some things he puts in his mouth will poison him or choke him, that ticks carry disease. Without this knowledge, Jake doesn't know what's best for him. For his own safety, he has to accept YOUR greater knowledge and judgment.
For your own peace of mind as your dog's guardian and caregiver, you must feel confident that you can restrain and handle him in any way you see fit, at any time you see fit.
But if your dog won't even accept minor things like clipping his toenails, or cleaning his teeth, or giving up a toy, or sitting quietly while you attach his leash....if your dog barks back at you, or pesters you, or won't shut up when people come to the door, or dashes away from you, or won't come when he's called....then he's certainly not going to accept some major thing that you might need to do with him to protect him or save his life.
You simply cannot take proper care of your dog
if he doesn't acknowledge you as his pack leader."
Kathy: "But I'm worried that if I take charge all the time, he'll resent me."
Me:: "No, he won't resent you. He'll RESPECT you, and when your dog respects you, when he recognizes you as the pack leader, he will not only behave beautifully for you, but also he will feel happy and secure because it's a great load off his shoulders. Isn't that what you want for Jake?"
Kathy: "Yes!"
Why FOLLOWER DOGS are happier and more secure -- and smarter, too
Follower dogs are secure because they know that you're in charge.
Dogs absolutely CRAVE a leader who they can trust to have everything under control, so they don't have to worry about trying to figure out our complicated human world. Follower dogs can relax and enjoy life while YOU handle all the decisions.
Follower dogs are happy because they're appreciated and complimented by everyone who meets them.
Since follower dogs are so willing to listen to you and learn from you, it is incredibly easy to teach them the positive behavior skills that make them wonderful companions who are welcomed everywhere they go.
Follower dogs are happy because they know the consequences of every behavior.
Follower dogs know which behaviors bring them praise, petting, and rewards, and which behaviors bring scolding. This black-and-white understanding helps them choose which behaviors to do, and which ones to avoid.
Follower dogs are happy because they learn what our human sounds mean.
Like anyone who learns a foreign language, dogs feel confident and empowered when they understand what you're saying.
Follower dogs are smarter because their brain has been developed.
The simple act of teaching your dog anything develops his brain cells and builds stronger and faster mental connections, which makes him more successful learning additional things. In other words, his intelligence and learning skills start to "snowball" with the very first thing you teach -- and keep right on snowballing with each new word.
Now... what dog wouldn't love all that?
Kathy: "But why do I need to be my dog's leader to teach him things? Won't he learn from me if I just love him? Don't dogs want to please the people they love?"
Me (smiling): "Dogs want to please the people they respect. They want to please leaders. If you are not your dog's leader, he will ignore you, or take advantage of you, or simply co-exist with you in a kind of bland limbo.
He will love you either way, because dogs don't equate love with respect. They love blindly; they respect only those who have earned it.
So teaching them to respect you will in no way diminish their love for you. And teaching them to respect you is mandatory if you are to take proper care of them.
So if you already have your dog's respect...
You need to know what to do to keep it.
And if you've lost his respect...
You need to know what to do to get it back.
Kathy (resolutely): "I think I understand. Tell me what to do!"
If you'd like some guidance teaching your dog to respect and listen to you, my dog training book will help!
The vocabulary words and rules your dog needs to know!
 "My step by step dog training program shows you how to improve your dog's behavior by teaching him vocabulary words, sensible rules, and consistent routines."
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My Vocabulary and Respect Training Program teaches your dog to be an excellent Follower Dog. He will learn:
When your dog respects you, he looks up to you. He will do anything for you, and he trusts you to do anything with HIM. A respect-based relationship makes your dog a terrific companion! |
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