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Kathy: "Michele, my dog Jake is being difficult. I can't make him do anything. He only listens to me when he's in the mood." Me: "I see. Would you say Jake is behaving rudely?" Kathy (surprised): "What do you mean? How can a dog be rude?"
Me: "Does he sometimes sass you back when you tell him to do something? Bark back at you?" Kathy: "Well, if it's something he doesn't want to do..."
Me: "Does he sometimes dart just out of reach when you stretch your hand toward him?" Kathy: "Well, sure, if he doesn't want to be caught."
Me: "Does he ever brace his legs and refuse to let go when you try to take something away from him?" Kathy: "Well, if it's something he wants to keep..."
Me: "Does he often nudge you for petting when you're trying to read the paper, or talk on the phone, or visit with guests?" Kathy: "Yes, he does that when I'm not paying attention to him."
Me: "Does he steal food off your plate when you leave it on the coffee table? Does he get into the garbage?" Kathy:: "Um..."
Me: "Does he ever grumble at you when you wake him up? Or when you move him from his favorite chair? Or when you reach toward his food bowl while he’s eating? Or when you touch some "sensitive" part of his body, like his tail or foot?" Kathy: "Yes, he doesn't want me to bother him."
Me: "Does he struggle or complain when you try to open his mouth to look at his teeth? How about cleaning his ears? Or clipping his toenails?"
Kathy: "True. He doesn’t like me to do that."
Me: "When you catch him doing something wrong, does he run away from you? Does he lead you on a merry chase around the house or yard?" Kathy:: "Yup! He doesn't want me to scold him."
Me: "When he doesn't get his own way or when he's upset with you, does he ever destroy things or pee on your bed or belongings?" Kathy: "Yes, he does sometimes does things to get back at me.
Me: "Does Jake decide who's welcome in your home and who isn't? Does he continue to bark at visitors even after you've let them in?" Kathy: "Well, if he's excited -- or if he doesn't like them..."
Me: "Ah, and if he does like them, is he calm and polite? Or does he jump all over them?" Silence. Then... "I'm beginning to see your point."
Me: "And you said he only obeys when he's "in the mood."
Me: "I’m afraid so. All of these behaviors are rude and disrespectful. If your Labrador Retriever is allowed to do anything that's rude or disrespectful, he will believe that he is higher in the pack order than YOU are."
Next in line is the Number Two animal, who can tell everyone else what to do -- except for the pack leader. Then the Number Three animal, who can tell everyone else what to do -- except for the pack leader and Number Two. And so on, right down to the most submissive one of all, who can't tell anybody else what to do.
Kathy (anxiously): "But I don't want to control my dog. I just want him to be my friend."
Me:: "Oh, no, Kathy, Jake won't resent you -- he'll respect you! You’ll not only be making him the most well-behaved dog you've ever had, but also the smartest and happiest!" Kathy (startled): "Come again?"
for dogs do not equate love with respect.
Dogs love blindly.
As you're teaching him, he will come to respect you as a fair and capable leader. Because of that respect, he will change his daily behaviors to much better ones.
 Educated dogs are the happiest, smartest, most confident dogs in the world. They have learned so many words and good behaviors that they fully understand what is expected of them.
"Where's your rope toy? Where is it?
Copyright © 2000 by Michele Welton. All rights reserved. No part of this website may be reproduced without the permission of the author. |
I often get phone calls from distressed owners who are having trouble with their dog. Let's listen in on a phone conversation between myself and a typical Labrador Retriever owner, Kathy Armstrong.
Talking back
Keeping just out of reach
Hanging onto objects
Stealing food
Struggling during grooming
Running away from you
"Telling off" guests
Jumping on guests
All packs have a "pecking order." At the top is the most dominant animal, the Pack Leader. He (or she) establishes all the rules and makes all the decisions.
The pack instinct is why dogs wedge themselves into our families, rather than prowling along the fringes, like most cats. Cats are solitary animals who like to do their own thing. Dogs are pack animals who like to belong. That one instinct makes a tremendous difference in the way each pet should be raised.
If you don't establish YOURSELF as the leader, your Labrador Retriever will be compelled by his instincts to assume the role. Now you will see those rude and disrespectful behaviors. Your dog isn't really being rude or disrespectful. He is carrying out his role as pack leader. He figures that since YOU haven't assumed the role, HE has to do it."
Think about it. Jake depends on you for his food, his health, his safety, his very life. There are times when you have to do things with Jake that he doesn't understand and doesn't like:
If your dog won't accept little things, such as clipping his toenails or cleaning his teeth or giving up a toy or sitting quietly while you attach his leash, then he won’t suddenly accept something major that you have to do with him. You have to start with little
things."
They know that YOU have everything under control. They don't have to worry about trying to figure out our complicated human
world. They can relax and enjoy life while YOU handle all the decisions.
Like anyone who learns a foreign language, dogs feel empowered when they understand what you're saying.
Kathy: "But why do I have to be my dog's leader just to teach him things? Won't he learn from me if I just love him? Don't dogs want to please the people they love?"
Teaching your Labrador Retriever to respect you means educating him. Educating him means teaching him lots and lots of words and their meanings.
An educated Labrador Retriever is a "thinking" dog. He is not a robot who does things mechanically. A "thinking" dog listens carefully. He looks at your face, reads your expressions and body language, and tries to piece individual words together into complex actions.